What are these people running from? They're not.
They're running to the world's toughest competition in town,
Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
Today it's the paranormal
taking on the baby products industry.
It's the classic battle of alien signs
versus nursery rhymes.
So get fired up for MXC!
And here's our crystal ball-busters,
Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano!
Great show today, huh, Vic?
Oh, it is a supernatural show, Ken.
The baby industry... Hot psychic babes.
That's right. Versus the paranormal.
It's interesting stuff, Ken.
Really interesting. Ken. Huh? Oh.
Who are these lovely ladies? These are some future unwed mothers
I met on "Psychic Signals" Web site.
Oh. Okay, more on that later, but we need to go to Guy, Ken.
No, no, no. Wait, wait. Guess what I'm thinking.
We should go to Guy? You're psychic!
Guy here. I have just checked my shiny crystal ball,
and the future begins right now with today's games.
We start with the mysteries of "Butt Muddlers"...
I mean, "Mud Butlers," and then we all "Yank it,"
next, swing over to the "Flailing Wall,"
ending with the not-so-childproof "Log Drop."
Guy's divining rod is pointing
to the not-so- paranormal-sized Skipper.
Thanks, Guy. How many of you feel
that psychic phenomena should be recognized as a legitimate science?
Show of hands, now.
Well, you're wrong. It's bogus. And the practitioners are nothing but charlatans
preying on the weak, like you 2 gypsies. Hi.
Oh, Captain, my Captain. What?
I'm a professional hypnotist, and I can regress you.
Who'd like to see me hypnotize the Captain
to reveal his inner-most secrets?
Well, I'm not going to pretend I'm a chicken or anything.
Okay, now look deeply into my brown eye.
Would you please get back there? You're going to sleep with me!
I love you! Call me! Disgusting.
And I don't want any of you laughing at that.
Can't believe what I do for this show. Let's go!
And we're off to our first challenge... "Mud Butlers."
Each contestant must tap an inflated goat bladder with the meat mallet,
sending it down the maze of mayhem
while players race down the Steps of Doom and attempt to catch the swollen orb
before it flies into the bog of mystery fluid.
"Mud Butlering," my friends. Get it on!
All right, first up for the baby industry.
I like Novocain!
That's Artie Molar.
He runs a teething ring of unlicensed Haitian dentists.
Oh, by the way, Vic, today's mystery sludge... Uh-huh.
Is fermented amniotic fluid
drippings from a birthing clinic in Gary, Indiana.
Oh, generous people there in Gary, Indiana. Bit shout-out to them.
And there he goes, launching for the ball, oh, and into the fluid!
No good!
Martian up!
And next up for the paranormals,
this is Stephanie Erb.
She runs a dating service for the dead
called "No Expectations""
Where do you go on a date when you're croaked?
There's hikes through Death Valley, cruises to the Dead Sea.
Of course, you can watch the C-SPAN book review.
But life doesn't have to stop at death.
But you can put another nail in her coffin. That run is D.O.A.
Stitch it up!
That's Landon Smythe,
inventor of the Chubby Buggy,
the dual-action stroller for morbidly obese babies.
It's so big, it comes with roadside assistance and free towing.
Right you are, Ken, and there he is, moving gingerly down those steps.
Here comes the bladder rolling down.
He's in good position. A good bounce. Step back...
Oh, miscalculated there, and that's a shame!
Kenny, that is our MXC Impact Replay. Let's take another look.
Yeah, Vic. He took his eye off the ball.
He was just so eager to get a mouthful of amniotic fluid.
You might be right, Ken. Look at that spinal injury.
Tomorrow he probably won't have any feelings in his legs.
Make mine a 40!
And next up for the paranormal,
that, of course, is Bud Schlitz,
one of the team's greatest hopes.
He of course brews an inner-city beer called Occult .45.
Who doesn't like dark beer? Not many people, Ken.
And look at him there.
Good bladder-catching position.
He's got his receptacle. Oh, totally misjudged that one, Ken.
I think he's drunk. Let's go to Guy and find out.
One day I was micro-brewing a foamy batch,
and suddenly Otis, by co-worker fell in to the dark beer boiler.
Really? Wow! Yeah, and since that time,
I been haunted by these voices in my head.
Hello, Otis. That you?
Would you like a schmutz with that?
Ah, here is Rabbi Eisenberg.
He runs a drive-through circumcision kiosk.
Can you get fries and a drink with that? I think you can, Ken.
There he goes, moving nicely. Could someone direct me?
Gingerly across, lining himself up. Look at the patience...
Oh! Unfortunately he can't get a hold of it.
Hey, man, conk-conk-a-chonk.
Next up, Hindu spiritualist Swami Davis Jr.
He channels the dead Rat Pack. Right you are, Ken.
And look at him moving nicely down there.
Working the stairs nicely for a guy with two glass eyes.
Oh, right into the fluid!
And he didn't get a hold of that bladder, Ken. What a shame. Open wide!
Next up, here's Barry Spears.
He's the producer
of the highly rated postpartum makeover show
called Before and Afterbirth.
I hope someone cuts the cord on that show.
Oh, really? I haven't seen it myself, Ken.
I understand it's quite excitable, but look at this.
He's playing it smart, staying on the corner there
waiting for the bladder to drop.
And he almost had it, Ken! Next up, Gavin Boggart.
I've got a dirty mind! He owns the psychic sports network ESPN.
Predicts athletes' crimes before they can buy their way out.
We spoke to one of his grateful clients earlier
He predicted I was gonna get in a heapin' trouble in Denver,
and he was right.
He has a 33% accuracy rate, Ken. Wow.
Yeah. There he is, going down the stairs.
Let's hope he's got a better percentage here. Let's see what he's doing.
That bladder, taking its time getting down there.
There he goes. I think he's predicting where it's gonna be.
Right you are, Ken. Oh, and he has predicted correctly!
I predicted it! I predicted this win!
Kenny, that was an amazing display of top-notch mud butlering, huh?
Kenny, pay attention.
Oh, sorry. I was channeling these chicks to give me a lap dance.
Well, I can't condone that, but fortunately I do have some singles.
Well, the baby industry gets bogged down,
and the paranormals take the lead 1 to nothing.
When MXC returns,
we get to tuggin' and a-pullin'.
Got it, pud monkey?
MXC is back for more,
as the baby droolies
take on the psychic ghoulies.
Kenny! Hey, Kenny! Vic, where are you?
Right back here, my friend. Whoa!
You're actually scoring with chicks in a hot tub.
Oh, I'm not scoring, Kenny. This is a French birthing tank.
Wow. French? You mean those cowards that smell like cheese?
Who'd have thought? Right you are, Ken.
You know this is one of the oldest, most natural forms of childbirth.
So they just bust 'em out like an alien in that water? No, Kenny. Come on.
It's all temperature-controlled. They wriggle out. It's very soothing.
But more on that later. Let's go to some "Yanking It."
And to explain the game, let's go to the former U.K. champion puller, Simon Windsor.
Simon? Yes, our contestants will grab this ropy strand
and yank it through this veiled opening.
Who and what they're yanking is anybody's guess.
I shall now move in for my close-up. Let's begin the yank.
Get it on!
And first up for the baby products, Sergio la Masarati.
What do you say? It's cold. You can see my brain.
Ah, of course, Sergio, the birth coach
for fast mothers who like to deliver in the back seat.
And there he goes. Trotting out there, led by Simon.
Still likes his ropy strand. Good position, Ken.
Look at him dig in. Right you are.
The Italians, of course, great yankers, but he's up against Monte, the last woolly mammoth.
Monte, of course, on loan to us from the Institute of Antiquity.
One of the rarest of pachyderms, alive 10,000 years, surviving the Ice Age.
Priceless, irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, Ken.
God, he must be really old. Right you are. Sergio, though,
young and strong and... Oh!
But Monte seems to be having some trouble there! He's down!
Oh, he just killed him! And we're screwed on our deposit now.
I think you might be right, Ken, and lets take a look on our MXC Impact Replay.
You can see Sergio there pulling mightily,
yanking the last breath out of Monte.
Maybe we could make an umbrella stand out of his foot.
A moving tribute, Ken. I like antiquing. I make my own candles.
And next up for the paranormal, it's Cliff Hartwith.
He's an atmospheric border patrolman.
Looks for aliens illegally trying to sneak into our dimension.
Yeah, it's weird how they always find San Diego from outer space.
[Vic And he, of course, up against the world's largest Catholic schoolgirl,
Mary Margaret Sullivan, and she goes down quickly!
Catholic girls are easy. Indeed. Next up, Darryl Imus.
Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
He's the inventor of the little gamblers' starter kit, Crib Craps and Poo-lette.
Let's see what he does here. I got wiped out playing those games.
Right you are. Here he goes, here.
Starting off with 5 to 1 odds, Ken.
Oh, just went to 35 to 1.
Ooh, and there he is, croupade across the come line. Hey, Vic!
Look right there. I think he just crapped out in his pants.
I think you might be right, Ken. And he's really gonna crap out in his pants
when he sees who he's been yanking against.
Who's there? Oh!
He has been severely gang-yanked!
That's why he's covered in mud. Right you are.
All right, out you go. I like to be rubbed with fish oil!
Ah, that, of course, is Dr. Monica Aroway.
She scans radio waves, searching for oral communications from other planets.
Hey, Vic, has she ever heard anything from Uranus?
Could be, Ken. I don't know. There she goes. She's lined up there.
She's got a ropy strand.
And there we go. Oh, we've got some hot girl-on-girl yanking, Ken!
She, of course, up against MXC's Laura Oliver,
the Canadian grip champ.
This could go either way. Oh!
Oliver down on her knees!
She's been there before, and let's see if she can pull it out, and she cannot!
And Dr. Aroway comes out on top.
Wow, exciting stuff.
Up next, 16-month-old Huey Stout.
He's the world's largest baby.
Yeah, his mother's trying to wean him, but he just doesn't want to let go.
Right you are, Ken. What a good-looking boy.
And what a good boy, going right over the rope
and picking it up like a good boy.
Look at him pulling hard... pulling hard like a good boy, Ken.
Oh, and the baby-bottle milk cow!
Oh, and it looks like someone just got forcibly weaned.
He's gonna be back on cheese and formula, Ken. I'm really tender!
Oh, and here's Felicia Moore.
You can see she's moving a little tentatively.
She just recently had her Area 51 shaved.
Yeah, my nana had her Area 51 fertilized and aerated.
Right you are, Ken. And look at Felicia.
There you can see she's taking on Skanky.
Look at her yanking the Skank!
Yank, yank, yanking that Skank! Oh, and Skank is down!
Guess that makes her a Skank-yanker. Right you are, Ken.
Next up, Eunice Simms.
Oh, you're never too old. Sorry. There she goes.
She runs Granny Nannies. They're nannies who help grannies
carry the kids for daughters who can't carry.
Wow. That means she's got to change both diapers at the same time.
Right you are, Ken. A lot of wipes and a lot of love.
And let's see what she does here. Oh!
Oh, look, the peter-pillar pulls away
and leaves her mommy parts parched.
Right you are, Ken. What a shame.
Oh, next up, Kelly Toltz.
Hi, everyone. Hello.
That's my company. She is a high-end crop circle designer.
She does a lot of good stuff.
All right, Kelly. Off we go. I've seen her work in Iowa,
Oklahoma... Not afraid to take on a big overgrown field
and turn it in to a neatly trimmed triangle. Right you are, Ken.
And here she is. She's up against Little Links, the killer pig!
Oh, and she pulls some serious pork and jerks one for the win!
Some good yanking, eh, Ken? Yeah. Hey, Vic.
I've never seen you with your shirt off. You've got man-boobs.
They're partially atrophied male pectorals, and they're ready to go on a moment's notice.
And the psychics are even more psyched up,
as they take out another win and extend their lead 2 to zero.
Coming up on MXC,
we drop in on the "Swing Set."
Hey, get away from the clicker, hand cramp.
Suck it up for more of MXC,
as the breast feeders take on the mind readers.
Mm. Nice read.
Well, we have got a great show, and, Kenny... Kenny?
Kenny?
Kenny. I think I can hear him back there. Sorry about this.
Hold on one second.
Hey, you know what? I can read boobs and tell your future.
What are you doing back here? Hey, Vic.
This hot tub is cool. We're talking about birth and stuff.
Oh, Kenny, if you are ever allowed to breed, we are indeed doomed.
Next up we've got the "Flailing Wall."
The object of the game is simple.
Contestants wear our patented sticky suits,
swing across the pool of fluids, and attempt to stick on the wall.
Good luck, and... Get it on!
First up, Hans Fister Price.
He's the maker of the broken-glass Shard-mobile. Cheese logs rock!
Yeah, they also make fish-hook baby gum.
It lodges in the cheeks, not in the throat. Right you are, Ken.
It teaches the child you can't trust anyone. And there he goes.
Oh, and he can't trust a ropy strand like that.
Oh! His arm came off! Right you are, Ken.
I'm gonna raise my arm! Next up, real-time psychic Uri Jeller.
He has the uncanny ability to predict events as they occur,
We had a chance to talk to him earlier. How do I explain this?
I'll be thinking about stuff, and sometimes it happens.
Like right now. Um...
And there he goes, Ken.
Starting off into a bent spoon... And a floating table,
but, oh, he couldn't complete it. Right you are.
He went for the talking 8 ball, but our sources say no.
I smell success! Here's Fred Hasbro,
maker of Stinkin' Logs and Tinkle Toys,
the all-natural playthings that any kid can make.
Use with proper ventilation. Right you are. There he goes.
Good takeoff. Oh!
And he has flailed himself upon the wall, Ken. Chalk 1 up for the baby-makers.
I've got something in my hand! Here's Elliot Salteras.
He sells reincarnated instant breakfast.
I'll try that sometime in my next life.
Nothing better than the breakfast you had before, and oh, he's down in the fluid, Ken!
Should've waited a half-hour before that run.
And that is our MXC Impact Replay. Let's take another look.
Oh, look, right there. He left some of yesterday's instant breakfast on the ledge.
Right you are. What a shame.
Good thing it's non-stick Teflon. Fresh cantaloupe!
Here's Jenkin Crosby, he's the author of the same-sex parody book
Megan's got Two Mommies and a Daddy in a Plastic Cup.
And look at that! Oh, talk about a man who sticks but can't hang on!
And he lands right into our reconstituted diaper squeezings.
Not a pampered fall, Ken. Here's Edward Johns,
transvestite channeler from the show Cross-dressing Over.
Yeah, they came over and tried to redo my apartment.
Right you are, Ken... Oh, look at that! He is into the diaper fluids.
I've got a car! What a shame. Let's see what Mo Ambrose can do.
He makes satellite tracking systems for wayward toddlers called LoJac and Jill.
And look at that! He has jacked himself on that wall, Ken!
Look, his arm came off. Or one of them.
Hey, grab my hand. You're fighting me!
Maybe he can use his LoJac and Jill to find his arms.
Right you are, Ken. Fudge me!
Here's Nasmo King, owner of Bed, Bath and the Great Beyond,
supplying out-of-body lotions and soaps.
There he goes. And... oh!
I think he used a little bit too much embalming fluid.
Happens a lot. I've got my own helmet.
Right you are, Ken. Next up, Jake Agner Clark,
the designer of Baby Corky,
the video education system for special kids.
Oh! He needed a special launch.
A little slower than everybody else, Ken.
Next up is Tony Burns. He's a telekinetic marketer.
We talked to him earlier.
First time I used the gift I was 12,
and a kid was bothering me, so
I willed a tether ball pole through his head.
Telekinetic marketers always bother you during dinner with their mind.
Right you are, Ken. Oh! It looks like he didn't mind that,
as he falls into the fluid.
What a shame. Let's take another look.
Tries to stick, he can't make it,
and he puts himself on the do-no-call list. Right you are, Ken.
So the baby products have wiped a big one on the board,
and it is now all tied up, 2 to 2.
When MXC returns,
it's time for a little potty training with the "Log Drop."
MXC is back
for baby products versus the paranormal.
It's the classic battle of the E.S.P.-ers.
So, Kenny, tell me again.
What are these curious head coverings for?
So we could read each other's minds. Go ahead, try it.
You bought these? Yeah. See if you can read my mind.
Okay, you're thinking about chicks and beer.
Wow! How'd you know? I'm psychic.
Coming up, it's "Log Drop."
Let's find out who will come out number 1
and who'll come out number 2.
Get it on!
First up, Tammy Gagarin.
Get out! She's the original Amityville Whore.
Let's see what she does. Oh, a front-footed roll-in! Oh, like flies in a window!
She's gonna be on her back for a while. Right you are, Ken.
What do I like? Logs? And who is that?
That's Patty Pampers.
She invented the double-load see-through diaper.
Oh! She is dumped in the water.
Let's go down to Guy and find out what happened.
Oh, I lost! Hold me! I want you, Guy!
You are all wet, so let me change you. Oh, please do!
I have diapers, talc...
everything I need in Guy's adult diaper bag.
I'm so dirty. Change me now. Would you like to come over for a play-date?
I'll show you my binky. Mm, delicious.
Next up, Harvey Reeks. Claims his West Hollywood condo is haunted
by Ass-ber, the flamboyantly friendly ghost.
That's spooky. Right you are, Ken. Oh!
That whole run just gave me chills.
Don't spank, just spray!
And here's Regina Teller,
inventor of Time Out pepper spray,
for the really terrible twos.
There she goes, moving nicely... Oh!
Oh, man. Her childbearing days are over.
Right you are, Ken.
Let's take another look at that.
She just gave herself a big time out.
Next up, Kathy Banfield. I sell eggs!
She's the chairman of the local Ouija board.
Will she win? Ouija says no!
Oh, I didn't even touch it, and it moved. Right you are, Ken.
And that is our MXC Impact Replay. Forget Ouija.
We're gonna have to squeegee her off the lawn.
Indee-jee. When you got to go, just go!
That's Jim Slummer. He distributes edible rawhide rattlers
that teaches babies to share with the dog.
Oh! Is he gonna make it, Vic?
Oh, man. He needs to be put down.
Stop staring at me! Next up, Dana Mulder.
She's a clair-voyeur. She reads people's minds while they're not looking.
I know what she's thinking right now... "Ow!"
Right you are, Ken. Wipe it clean!
Here's Memo Ortiz. He makes jalapeño baby wipes.
It's a wipe and a snack all in one. Hygienic and good eating, Ken.
There he goes from a changing table to an absorbent paddle, and he can't pull it off, Ken!
Gentlemen, deal.
Here's Dan Hero, 21.
He's a Las Vegas tarot card counter.
He always doubles down on the death card.
And right he goes there into a low-high priestess.
An angry emperor. Oh, into the fool flop.
Let's see what he can do here.
The grim reaper for the finish!
Add one for the paranormals.
I'm right... I mean, left-handed!
Here's Olympus Baba Gannoush.
He owns Little Mutants Baby Photography.
Retouches ugly baby photos. Oh!
And that was the last chance for the baby team, and he is down!
And that is it, so Dan Hero wins it all
for the paranormal team, 3 to 2.
Well, Kenny, as predicted, the paranormals have won it all.
Hey, what is that? It's my ectoplasmatic elimi-cam.
Ooh, fire it up.
We are now channeling...
Kenny Blankenship's Most Painful Eliminations of the Day!
Number 10 goes to plumpy Huey Stout,
who yanks a heifer and gets dragged and utterly humiliated.
The 9 spot goes to Hans Fister Price
who can't stick to his original game plan
and goes right to plan B-seein' ya!
Number 8 goes to Monte, the last wooly mammoth,
who is not only endangered but quickly becomes extinct.
I can't believe we killed him.
Checking in at number 7, it's mommy makeover dude Barry Sears,
who gets mud-butlered, battered and banged... up.
Number 6 goes to oral specialist Monica Aroway
and Moose Jaw gripper Laura Oliver.
Wow! "Oral," "gripper," "Moose Jaw"... I need a towel.
Number 5 goes to cross-dressing host Edward Johns,
who swings over to the other side, butt-first.
Number 4 goes to Time Out pepper spray maker Regina Teller.
Guess she didn't know she was double-jointed until now.
Number 3 goes to paranormal Elliot Salteras,
who takes an abnormal whack to the ass and wipes out.
Clair-voyeur Dana Mulder sneaks in at number 2
with a mind-numbing, back-breaking log drop.
Oh, I just had one myself.
But my most painful-est elimination of the day goes to
Chubby Baby Buggy butlerer Landon Smythe.
I guess he won't be using that neck, spinal cord or brain stem anytime soon.
Ouch!
Being psychic is tiring, huh, Vic?
Give your little supernatural brain a rest
while we say what we always do...
Don't get eliminated!